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Wordperfect Customer Support
Actual dialogue of a former Wordperfect Customer Support Employee CSE
Customer Support Employee CSE May I help you
Customer: Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.
CSE: What sort of trouble
Customer: Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
CSE: Hmm. So what does your screen look like now
Customer: Nothing.
CSE: Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out
Customer: How do I tell
CSE: Can you see the C: prompt on the screen
Customer: What's a sea-prompt
CSE: Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen
Customer: There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.
CSE: Does your monitor have a power indicator
Customer: What's a monitor
CSE: It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on
Customer: I don't know.
CSE: Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that
Customer: Yes, I think so.
CSE: Great Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Customer: I can't. It's dark out here.
CSE: Dark
Customer: There's a power outage.
CSE: A power... A power outage Aha Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in with
Customer: Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
CSE: Good Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
Customer: Really Is it that bad
CSE: Yes, I'm afraid it is.
Customer: Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them
CSE: Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer.