This is a funny money joke about stock and report. We hope you have a laugh - and as always, keep smiling.
I hope you enjoy this funny story - and if you do, why not send it to a friend? If the answer is: "Because I want to keep them" - then that's awesome, too. Keep reading Douglas Adams.
The Stock Report
Helium was up. Feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Knives were up sharply. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued a slow decline. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. Balloon prices were inflated. And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.