Want a laugh? Try our lawyer jokes.
This is a funny lawyer joke about occupational and descriptions. We hope you have a laugh - and as always, keep smiling.
I hope you enjoy this funny story - and if you do, why not send it to a friend? If the answer is: "Because I want to keep them" - then that's awesome, too. Keep reading Douglas Adams.
This joke may be considered ADULT and either contains adult themes, bad language, or racially sensitive humour.
Occupational Descriptions
- An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
- An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
- A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
- An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
- A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
- An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
- A engineer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
- A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
- A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
- A schoolteacher is a disillusioned person who used to think they liked children.
- A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
- A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
- A maid knows more about the people in the household than their minister or the doctor.
- An actor knows if you want a small or large order of fries.
