Joke about Christmas Diary

Christmas Diary

Dear Diary

I know it must seem strange for a grown man to be writing in a diary, but this is going to be such a wonderful experience.

We are moving back to Minnesota from Florida. We both have missed the four seasons, especially the winter with it's beautiful snow. I remember my Grandpa helping me build a snowman and am anxiously waiting to do the same for Andy and Sally.

Dec. 6 We arrived yesterday! Just 60 miles south of the Candian line. We have little log cabin near the edge of town. The trees are bare and the Cardinals and Blue Jays are settling down in their nests in the fir trees.

Dec 18 It finally started to snow. Katy and I sat in front of the picture window with our hot chocolate watching as the soft flakes of snow drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful.

Dec. 19 We awoke to a big, beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Just like a fairyland. Every tree and shrub covered by a beautiful mantle of snow. What a fantastic sight! I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both the driveway and sidewalks. Later a snow plow came through and accidentally covered up our driveway and the sidewalk with compacted snow from the street. But that is alright, I love shoveling the snow. What great exercise.

Dec 20 We will definately have a white Christmas. It snowed an additional 14 inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs and scrubs have snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterward, the man in the snowplow came by and did his trick again.

Dec 21 It warmed enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice as the temperature dropped again. I fell and hurt my back in the driveway, spent $145.00 at a chiropractor's office but nothing was broken.

Dec 25 Son, John, with his wife, Barbara, and the kids, Andy and Sally, will be here today, so I guess I will have to just watch them build the snowman. Maybe I can get John to go over the sidewalks again. We had 6 more inches of snow last nite.

Dec. 26 It was a marvelous Christmas. Sally made such wonderful snow angels. Andy said he would wait for the snowman till I was feeling better. The temperature dropped to 20 below zero during the night.

Dec 29 Still cold. I sold the wife's car and bought a 4x4 in order to get her to and from work.

Jan. 10 It has warmed up now. It is only 2 degrees outside. More snow. There's not a tree or scrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. We tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered 2nd degree burns on both hands and lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. Car slid on ice, on the way to the emergency room, and was totaled.

Jan 14 More snow, more shoveling, and again the snowplow came after I had finished. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish.

Jan 23 Guess who got 29 plus more inches last night? I think I am going snow blind, all I see is snow, snow and more snow!

Jan. 26 That white stuff keeps coming down. We have to put on all the clothes we own just to go to the mailbox. If I catch that smart-aleck driving the snowplow, I'll chew open his chest and rip open his heart. Power is off again. The toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.

Feb. 3 Six more inches of sleet and ice and God knows what other kind of white stuff fell last night. It is sooo cold I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun for weeks. More snow predicted. Wind-chill 2 degrees.

Feb 6 Three more months of winter to go. I set fire to the house, now let's see that white stuff cling to the roof!! I'm moving back to Florida.